Across the land could be heard the sound... A Low Rumble

So let me begin with a Dinosaur Comic.

I will say this. I have lost sight of myself.

Months can do that. Months and comfort and drugs and lifestyle and addiction and choices and lack of choices. And self-preservation can do that. Vagueness, that works it all out too. Simply put, I'm having a bit of a hard time figuring myself back out. Yes, back out. I feel very different from who I was, say a year ago. Two years ago.

Well of course you have Jordan, you're growing, maturing. Surely every day we're all a little bit different than the previous, wouldn't you agree old boy?

I haven't forgotten to take that into account, chap. Consider this though, if everyone changed all the time, they would never remain the same person, would they? Would you not agree that people keep parts of themselves that they've developed through their experiences and hold onto those qualities, whilst casting aside others?

Well spoken my boy. And it is these qualities that would, as they say, 'define character?' Ah yes, jolly good. Why a true character, be they a noble hero, a dastardly villain or a lowly amish farmhand, longing for a life he will most likely never see, with fast cars, women and running water is forged by their decisions of what characteristics to adopt into their own personal character.

I'm inclined to agree with you mate, but it may not be as simple as that.

What say you? That a man doesn't forge his character through experience and the decisions he makes?

Precisely. Well, very nearly. I concur in that experiences are necessary to build character, but in terms of which characteristics stay and go, I might argue that it is not by our own choice but by circumstances that arise around us. Of course we can impact the encounters, like spilling a drink on a friends white shirt, but the weight of our particular impact varies. Obviously in the former example one can make a large difference, but in the case of say, a twister, you don't stand much chance of affecting it.

Unless you're Helen Hunt.

Of course.

I think I understand what you're saying. In reference to our character, what defines who we are, it isn't entirely up to us who we are, or become. Some things will always just be a certain way, some things are hereditary, one might say, or circumstantial, out of your hands, part of the bigger picture. I can't say I like the sound of that though. I prefer to believe that who I am is entirely up to me.

Well, let's say you felt like you should be able to fly. That isn't really up to you, is it?

No.

Or if you're a crack baby. You can't un-loserify your mom, you dig?

I concede that yes, certain things that may define your character aren't up to you, they just *are*, but what about everything else. Decision has to come into it somewhere.

Maybe we're just all, depending on how we're built, quite literally, inclined to make certain decisions in one favor. For example, a psychopath is built a little different, has different psychotic tendencies. Like hands in jars and stuff. Okay, so I'm just making that up, but there are psychotic tendencies.

That makes sense. A child growing from infancy to adolescence, however, must be considered 'under construction', as their decision-making-skills have yet to be developed. Anything that impacts them there will play a part in his character, or his character's tendencies at the very least.

Yes, yes, I can see what you mean. Picture it, I mean. Cool. Well, my brain doesn't want to think anymore, so it's time I wrap this up. Good talk British-Mind-Jordan.

Splendid. Cheerio.

So yeah, I'm a little out of it. But I am moving forward and onward, ever braving the torrid waters of Sedah. Their murky depths a freezing, crashing malevolence the likes of which none have ever faced and lived. But hezaah I say. Hezaah! Stand ground, let this grotesque stream break upon my chest, refresh my stolid expression and finally wash about my ankles, broken, a stream of shame.

I just wanted to write. There's nothing of the offensive nature in here, if anything appears that way. Whatever, you catch me. I have to start doing this more often. I don't know what this blog has become. But it's here. And it's caught in the web, caught fast.