I have gotten so caught up in everything as of late. I suppose, in reality I'm no more caught up in 'everything' as I was before, but that doesn't explain the anxiety. Worry does though. It's been something I've been doing a whole lot more as of late. Worry about friends, about myself, about my family, about every problem that's come up.
I never used to worry. About pretty much anything. I consider that a good thing, more or less. I never really worried what anybody thought of me growing up. Not ever, really. I just... did my own thing. And it was fantastic. I would venture to say that it made me a very honest person. That's a lot of where my self-esteem stems from. Honesty. Truth and equality. Verite.
Without truth, there is no love. Without truth, there is no beauty.
I'm going to just take a step back here and try to remember what it felt like to truly be one's own person. Being true to yourself has been a principal I've always lived by. I am what I make myself. In essence, no one can tell me how to live my life.
No one is, mind you. I'm quite literally staring into the void that is instant international communication and reciting the mantra of my being. The thoughts that roll through my mind tonight. An appraisal, one might say, of my own civil codes.
We live in Canada, my friends. A land in which each and every one of us has the means to become anyone and do anything we want. To look at myself I can't help but feel a shame for not being better. I know one thing. I'm going to teach my daughter responsibility. Just like Spiderman.
As far as a physical update of me and my life; not much has changed. I bought a keyboard, because I'm awesome like that. I am actually pretty jacked on it. I'm learning Moonlight at the moment, and it's coming along pretty fan-tabulous.
Bagel-time, perhaps?
Me thinks indeed.
Surreptitiously.
Me thinks.
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