Catalyst in the Hatalyst.

I haven’t written for the sake of writing in far too long.

Is there destiny? Am I just running along on a track?
What about Jesus and Buddha?
When you sit outside and you see the rain start, then watch it end all in two minutes, why do you feel the way you do?
Is that a sense of astonishment, amazement? Curiosity? Wonderment? Why does that make me feel like I’m the smallest piece of the biggest puzzle of all?
Am I going to have to go to war?
Ever?
Will the freedom and security I’ve taken for granted my entire life ever be in jeopardy?
Why is it so difficult to get rid of the memories we want to forget?
Why do people have to wait until they’re limping and broken before they realize their own goddamn potential?
Is there really a spiritual connection to be felt? A real, honest-to-goodness connection that borders on the paranormal? Is that even possible? Then why love? Why is it love that does that? Why not pain? Why not anguish? If two people lose someone they both love, why can’t they make that connection?
Every time you look back on the lessons you’ve learned, the experience you have tucked under your belt, is there ever one single moment that you learned a lesson? It seems like you have to drag yourself through an arduous stretch of trivial, menacing circumstances for days to years before we learn anything. And when we bring it back it’s a single lesson. Don’t do this do that. What makes any of us smart enough to know that what we’ve lived so far isn’t part of one big lesson for our adulthood?
When I die, will my life be anything more than a lesson to be learned?

Sometimes I have to remind myself that not all my questions need answers.

Relax.