4.01.2007

Good people/Bad people

Today I found a spider caught in his own web. I crushed it to death with my foot.

Every day things happen that weren’t planned. Things don’t work out often the way people expect them or want them to. But they do happen. Regardless, they do happen.

For hundreds of years people have been making plans anyways. People have been, for centuries, dealing with things when they go unexpectedly. People have even begun expecting delays, setbacks and the generally unexpected in an effort to cope. Does this work? Sometimes. Hard to say. I think for the most part that it doesn’t.

There is anger and frustration everywhere I look. You can read it in people’s voices and see it behind their eyes. Swearing is prominent. Temper-tantrums less so, but still present. People still glare and roll eyes and dislike and tease and hate and bicker.

I think it stems from insecurity. I think there are not nearly as many people who are self-confident as there are people who say they are self-confident. When somebody doesn’t like who they are it is so easy to just fall behind their own voice. They say things that seem exaggerated, they constantly give examples of their ability to succeed and they incessantly speak of themselves.

I’m self-centered. I know I am. I really like talking about me, discussing accomplishments and getting compliments. But you’ll notice that I don’t butt into conversations with sentences that almost inevitably begin with “Oh yeah, I did that too,” or “I’ve been there,” or “I know more about this subject than you, so I’m going to start talking now.” Okay, so that last one I’ve never heard, but regardless, the sentiment sure seems familiar, doesn’t it?

Without respect, there is no friendship. So why do friends brag about their accomplishments? There is a fine line between regaling your friends with a story of an accomplishment that you’re proud of and casually mentioning your success with things that your friends already know you can do, over and over and over again. This is bragging. Do people know when they’re bragging? Sometimes. So why do friends brag? Because they fear there’s no respect. They might feel they need to earn other people’s respect by impressing them. Unfortunately, they don’t know they’re not only failing to impress these people, but actually repelling them with their indomitable false sense of self. Quite frankly, it’s fucking annoying.

Why do people get insecure? There’s physical insecurity, and a lot of people have that, but there’s also mental insecurity; when a person has no self-worth. This mental block must be infuriating. There are parts of you that are so focused and developed and ready to surmount any challenge, but then there are parts of yourself who have no idea that they’re problematic.

Perhaps there’s a part of you that cheats on tests. It justifies itself because it’s trying to win, to succeed. But at what cost? It impedes learning. That’s not good.

Perhaps there’s a part that treats people like garbage, as opposed to people. It justifies itself because without this part of the self working properly the rest can focus on itself and only itself without feeling any negative repercussions. How would this person function in society? When people engage this person socially it becomes apparent right away that the person doesn’t give a shit about their wellbeing. How far in the world will someone constantly thought of as a lying douche-bag get?

Perhaps there’s a part of yourself that ignores responsibility. One of the only principles this world revolves around is that people are responsible for their own actions. It’s the basis of law. If this part of self doesn’t work well then you’re left with a person whose lack of maturity affects their morals, ethics and conscience. How good are the chances that a person with a lack of morals and conscience develops a further mental block like the ones previously mentioned? Not to mention, they’re dicks.

It would be foolish to say that all assholes derive from self-image problems, but I wouldn’t say it’s stretching it to say that a good number of them do.

I won’t say I’m secure with myself fully. Not at all, but I don’t think I piss anybody else off with my actions. I don’t. At least not to my knowledge. If I do piss any of you off, by all means, tell me. Confront me. It’s not gonna change any other way. I won’t yell at you, or get angry, and if I’m doing something wrong, really, then I will apologize. And then I’ll probably hug you. And then I’ll probably lay into you with anything you may be doing that pisses me off.

People make mistakes. I know that people make mistakes. So it’s not fair for me to just throw this argument like a ghost costume onto every asshole and every bitch and every douche-bag I know. But that being said, it does mean that people who continue to make the same mistake (or mistakes) time and time again deserve no second thought. They are the people who make others shake their heads. They are the ones who make people cry. They are the people who we put up with that need to get over themselves and start getting better.

How can someone be such a fucking dick day in and day out, every day? The answer is simple. We let them. If someone constantly cheats, don’t let them take the tests, fail them. If someone constantly treats his friends and loved ones like dirt, stop being friends and loved ones. Isolate him or her. Push them away. If someone won’t earn up to their own goddamn actions, treat them as though they have. If they’re constantly put into the situations that should arise from their actions then there’s nothing for them to do but learn from it, that they aren’t the victim but the dirtbag.

Insecurity. Insecurity is not something people should have. All it leads to is problems. Problems within yourself and problems with other people. So I think it’s about time for everyone to shut up and think.

If you’re insecure with yourself physically, get over it. Either go out there and fix it if you can or realize that you’re not in high school anymore. You are who you are regardless of how you look; demand respect of others. They will give it to you, if you deserve it.

If you’re insecure with yourself mentally, you better realize it. Because every day that you go on being yourself you’re fucking with the lives of other people, and you don’t have that right. Think about everything you do, because when you make a bad decision it will affect more than yourself, and if you piss somebody off it could really end up causing bigger problems than you’d thought. Nothing happens as planned.

I saw a spider, caught in his own web. I didn’t think twice. I crushed it under my foot. I put it out of its misery.

12 comments:

Bean said...

Babe, that made so much sense, it's not even funny. People have gotta change their ways, I am one of them. Insecurities are pretty reasonless with me and I need to get over that.
You are one of the best human beings I have had the privelege to meet. You're bewitching. You'll be in my trippy little dreams tonight my love. *yeah, I am a cheese monster of doom*

remabfco

I fucked it up
dohmh

Akiyhrah said...

I agree with Jill, that makes a lot of sense.

I'd like to think that people would be comfortable confronting their friends with things that bother them, but the truth is.. even though people always say "I'll be fine, I want to hear the truth.. etc etc" a lot of them can't handle the truth when its brought foreward. I don't doubt that you could though. You're crazy cool like that. *hug*

Martha said...

everything i was gonna say has already been said by those two lovely ladies

gregoire you are stellar.

i love your honesty. you're blunt and thats just what we need

thanks

dpiel

Anonymous said...

Why would you write such a generalized post when you are thinking about a particular person or incident? It would be more reasonable to just talk to him/her in person and tell them this. There are just too many sweeping generalizations for me to even comment on in this post.

jordanibanez said...

Because I'm not talking about one person.
This isn't about just one person.
This isn't about one incident.
This isn't about just you.

I'm talking about every single maligned person who has ever given me a bad look or shat on my friends, regardless of how well I know them or not. This world is fucked up. And it's fucked up because of bad people. It's as simple as that.

Disagree, call it generalized, whatever. That won't change who any of us are.

déjà~raine said...

that was indeed awesome, gregoire.

you know what i like? i like reading stuff by people i know and finding out that they're actually thinking and being intelligent human beings underneath all the day to day bullshit. this goes for other people too.

i also like realizing that i've lived with a shockingly insecure and immature person for a decade, and it's coming to an end. this post was so truthful.

Queen of Hearts said...

thank you gregoire. that is all ...
*hUGZ*

VivaLaPinto said...

Gregoire, most of us (especially me) can only bitch and moan and gripe about the people we hate. And we will, day in, day out, until a different person to hate comes along.

You, on the other hand think about it, until you've made real, constructive conclusions, and then share you discoveries with all of us. I really respect you for that. It's something I really wish I could do. Hopefully a lot of people read this, and find as much truth in it as I have. It totally applies to everyone. Not even just the people who are so bad it shows. Everyone has that part of themselves they have no idea people can't stand.

Thanks for summing it up. :) PS: i hate word verification!

ChaoticEggplantQueen said...

Dearest tall glass of water

That was neat....
....
.....

....

Tex mex nacho cheese.

Actually I agree with you, haha ok thought I've totally tried to cheat on tests, but sadly all of my friends are too right sided for math. ;_; Hmm I'd like to sit here and ponder something intellectual or conversational to say but really I just agree and on a totally unrelated side note you are an incredibley talented writer, great imagery.

and as Eryn said I chest you. Keep on being you, its one of the greatest gifts you could ever gift me as a person. That was cheesey and a oprah moment... the handy capped guy is blue and makes me giggle. They are wondering why I am writing so much.

Let Go said...

Nathan, you're crazy.
Jordan, you're awesome.
I'd also like to point out that anonymous people should piss off.
Haha that comment will most definitely get me into trouble... but I'm sure I have people backing me up.

barbara_mary said...

Jordan, I love that you're so reasoned in your post complaining about others. You manage to say some really controversial things without offending anyone!

And I'm going to have to agree with Jill, that you are one of the best human beings I've ever met.

Joe Guitar said...

I have to say after reading this...I am a douche-bag. Sorry. I'll work on that.