Imagine if you will a child, little tan stick in hand, liberally dabbing glue onto a piece of thin wood. Two pieces of wood are pushed together and an anxious minute passes. Then, as the two pieces of wood are carefully moved into place, they slide apart from one another and they fall apart, desperately clinging to one-another. That is the visual. How I’m doing, right now, is like two flimsy cheap flaps of birdhouse, suddenly sliding and separating.
The only semblance of responsibility I acknowledge outside of the program (to a degree) has just made its exit. I was ‘let go’ from Coyote’s today. Nothing personal. Not my work ethic or anything. Simply they need to give what shifts they can to the full-time barrista’s. I’m not sore about it. Not at all. It just seems odd. It dawned on me as I took the call (yes, it was over the phone). I didn’t flinch. My heart didn’t skip a beat. My throat didn’t need clearing. I just spoke. It was simple and easy. My now ex-manager Nadia (a few of you met her, she’s really nice) seemed more choked up than I was. If I learned one thing it’s this… I often take bad news better than I do good news. I just do. And I think that’s a good thing. Because generally, the world offers up a lot more bad than good. It’s all in how we take it. I firmly believe that. I guess this little quirk is actually quite a useful one.
I have a bright future.
I don’t know much about it, but a feeling I get is that someday I’m gonna be somewhere I want to be, with someone I want to be with, floating along, doing my thing. And that will be even better than it is now. Whenever I’m ready, my future will happen. Because as soon as I become ready, without my even knowing it, ‘doing my thing’, the thing I’m doing, will transform into things that advance where I am. Until then, my thing is just chillin’, writin’, drawin’, DMin’, actin’, smokin’, partyin’ and lovin’. Later on, one or two of those things will change, and that will make all the difference form now to then. Present to future.
PS – The title of this blog refers to yet another visual which I fucking love to death. It refers to a certain enchilada shell, and it is, in my opinion, extremely accurate. I hate to be mean but Jill hit home with this rather dastardly descriptor.
4 comments:
I cannot get Carmina Burena for the life of me on Limewire. It is, how do you say, le balls.
Much love <3
sekpd
wow. taking that kind of news so well is a serious good quality dude. one that not many possess. A definite strength in my opinion, especially if it as genuine as you say it is. :) Hope you are doing well.
jill you might have to search out the excalibur soundtrack its on there
dead gorilla eyes? for some reason I thought I said that...but I'm probably wrong, lol! I have a bad memory!
And Jillian, if you're looking for O Fortuna, it's by Carl Orf, and it's the Carmina BurANA. That might be why you can't find it. If you need it, I can send it to you! :)
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