Downs.

Have you ever asked yourself “Am I retarded?”

Because I know I’ve done some pretty stupid-ass shit in my life. Like, really dumb shit, and I sometimes think to myself, “Hmmm… I wonder if I’m retarded.” Because honestly, *if* I was retarded, I probably wouldn’t know it. Just as a crazy person usually doesn’t know they’re crazy, a retarded person wouldn’t know they were retarded. Is everything everyone’s ever said to me been said in one of those stupid ‘I’m talking to a retarded person’ tones? You know what I’m talking about. Well maybe they are. Maybe people are constantly asking “How are YOU doing today JORDAN?” and I’m oblivious.

On the bright side, if I am really retarded, then I can pretty much do anything I want. Watch out boobs, cause I’m gonna touch you. I’m retarded. Just like a senile old man. As long as I’m smiling. Thanks “Waiting”.

And I know I’m not actually retarded, because you’re reading this and understanding what I’m saying. And you voted me to be a one-acts producer, and no one in their right mind would vote a retarded guy to be in charge of that. Hooray for sanity, hooray for only slightly below average intelligence.